Why Didn’t My Dad Tell Me that Women are Looking for Security before Sex

ike many people, you may struggle to put yourself in others’ shoes. This isn’t always a big deal, but it can have major repercussions for your love life. Unfortunately, many men are unable to put themselves in women’s minds and end up projecting their own wants and needs onto their wives and girlfriends. Not surprisingly, this often results in one failed relationship after another. In some cases, it can prevent you from finding love in the first place. Even as a middle-aged guy, you may still struggle to understand what women want. So, what is it? The answer may surprise you.

What Men Want

The first thing to do when trying to understand what women want is to think about what men typically want. Chances are that you’re taking those wants, needs and desires and assuming that women think similarly. Here’s a pro tip: They don’t. At the risk of lumping all men into one group, most guys are primarily interested in companionship. Does that mean they place a priority on sex? Sure, that’s often the case, but there’s usually more to it than that. That’s especially true with older men because they’ve usually sown their wild oats years earlier and have settled down quite a bit.

So, men are mostly concerned with finding women who can provide companionship, and that companionship can take many forms. Another thing that many guys look for in female companions is to be cared for, or even mothered. Most men won’t readily admit to this, but they often want women who can help them keep their lives in order. Now, if you were to say this to the average woman, she wouldn’t be too thrilled. Still, it’s often the case, and there’s nothing inherently wrong with that.

What Women Want

What we’ve learned so far is that men mostly want companionship and to be mothered to a certain extent. That tends to become truer the older they get. Don’t women want the same things? Not quite. They want companionship, for sure, but they can just as easily get that from other loved ones and good friends. Sex is on their radars, of course, but it tends to appear fairly low on the list of priorities. While there are certainly women who want guys who will act like fathers to them, most women aren’t looking for father figures.

If women aren’t too worried about companionship and rarely look for fatherly guys, what exactly do they want? It can be summed up with one, simple word: security. Women want to be with guys who can take care of business. Men who have their affairs in order are immensely appealing to most mature women. The word “mature” is an important qualifier here. Younger women are usually less worried about the trappings of success and security because they figure they have plenty of time left. As women get older, though, finding a man who can give them the security they crave becomes more and more important.

Are You Going About Things the Wrong Way?

Like many men, you may feel like you’re competing with other guys who may be better lovers than you. In turn, you may feel the urge to emphasize how great you are in bed and the excitement you can bring to a woman’s life. If you’re doing these kinds of things, chances are that you’re striking out left and right. Women want and enjoy sex, of course, but it’s not like they struggle to find it. Most women can find men to sleep with them without any trouble, and that’s something many guys fail to consider.

If sex is so readily available to most women, it’s not something they are extremely concerned about when looking for serious partners. That’s one of the many reasons that security becomes so crucial. Do you demonstrate your ability to provide security to the women you date? This doesn’t mean you have to go around flashing cash and being flashy. It simply means emphasizing that you have your act together and are stable in the most important ways. For instance, do you own a house and a car? Are you gainfully employed? Do you have disposable income that you can spend on hobbies, travel and other fun things?

Shift Your Mindset to Improve Your Odds of Dating Success

Now that you know how important it is to show women that you can provide security and stability, you may be tempted to run around bragging about your many accomplishments. Don’t do that. Regardless of how successful and secure you are, no one likes braggarts. Boasting about the things you have and the security you can provide will make you seem insecure. The thing to keep in mind is that showing is far better than telling.

How do you show women that you have the security they crave? First, make sure you are presenting the right image. No, you don’t have to look like George Clooney to make this happen. In fact, you don’t have to be conventionally attractive at all. What you need to do is invest in nice, flattering clothes and get a decent haircut. Maintain your personal appearance as impeccably as you can, and splurge on a few really nice pairs of shoes. Keep your home and car neat and tidy, and make a point of showing that you’re a hard, dedicated worker.

Security First, Sex and Fun Second

At this point, you may be feeling pretty let down. After all, dating is still supposed to be fun, right? If you’re supposed to focus on providing security, how are you supposed to have a good time? Like many things, the rewards of playing your cards right from the beginning will come later. As women realize that you are a good provider and reliable person, you will attract more of them. Showing that you’re a stable, secure person is a major aphrodisiac for many women, so you will be able to enjoy plenty of excitement and fun as time goes by. Hang in there for now, and great things are sure to come your way later.

How Do You Demonstrate You Have Great Value to Your Employer When You’re Over Fifty

magine the following scenario: You are relaxing in your gym’s hot tub after a long, exhausting day of job-hunting. As you let the jets of hot water gradually relax the kinks in your neck and back, you look around at the other two guys who just happen to be sharing the space with you. Shocked, amazed and not just a little star-struck, you recognize them as two of the most renowned athletes of our time: Peyton Manning and Michael Jordan. How could these sports luminaries be hanging out in your humble little health club, you wonder. Then you notice that both men are looking right at you.

“We’re here to share some important things with you,” Michael Jordan explains. “Don’t ask us how, but we heard you were having a tough time and figured you could use some encouragement.”

Peyton Manning chimes in, “You might find this a little hard to believe, but the three of us have a lot in common. We’re all older guys, not past our prime yet but definitely not in our youth either. In both our cases, people have thought that we were over the hill and should just hang up our spikes, so to speak. We’re both living proof that youth isn’t always better and that maturity can sometimes actually be an advantage.” What could these multi-millionaires have in common with you, you ask.

Michael is the first to volunteer a pearl of wisdom. “Remember when I retired from basketball? I just couldn’t see myself playing shuffleboard or spending my life watching highlight videos. So what did I do? I tried other things, like professional golf, minor league baseball and even owning my own team.” Michael goes on to tell you that just as he cast his net wide, you can, too. You can take many of the skills and experiences you gleaned from past jobs and transfer them to new career opportunities. Think of it as redirecting, not reinventing your abilities.

“One thing that was indispensable for me was forcing myself to network,” Peyton volunteers. You realize that he’s not talking about those often trite and cheesy mixer parties; no, he means using the contacts and connections you have gathered through a lifetime of experience to help you at a time when you’re feeling adrift. After an injury that most thought had totally ended his career, Peyton didn’t lie down and die. Instead, he pushed himself almost beyond endurance, didn’t allow himself to lose faith that he would succeed and garnered support from his family, friends and fellow football players who truly believed in him. We all know the result: one of the most amazing come-backs in NFL history. In your case, networking means renewing old alliances, getting cozy with technology such as LinkedIn and not being afraid to ask for help. Whether it’s through an old college buddy or an unemployment support group, help—and eventual employment success—can come from unexpected sources.

“Think of this as a time when you can do a total reboot,” Michael says, smiling a bit guiltily at the tech pun. What he means is that when you have finished the routine tasks of your daily job search, take an hour or two to hone a skill or learn a new one. Not sure how to use a Mac? Never quite understood the ins and outs of Twitter? Always wondered how to do basic html? Well, there’s no time like the present to add a few new items to your tool kit.

“It’s all about your attitude and how you present yourself,” Peyton adds. While getting depressed or down is nothing to be ashamed of, don’t let it consume you. Instead, re-brand your age by turning maturity into an asset instead of a liability. Strut your stuff by articulating over and over until you believe it that your years of experience have molded you into being a creative, flexible thinker. When problems arise, you use your impressive archive of life lessons to arrive at a solution that a younger worker wouldn’t even know existed. Once you are convinced of the truth of age’s benefits, be sure that your resume reflects it. A resume is much more than a list of skills; the best ones chronicle a person’s tangible achievements. And that’s where an older worker can truly shine.

“I know what you’re thinking,” Michael cuts in. ‘Nobody wants to hire me because I have too much experience. I’m just plain over-qualified. Well, I can tell you something about that. Going from five-time MVP to minor league ballplayer was quite a leap. Who was going to take me seriously?” To avoid failing because of this trap, Michael advises that you focus on the moment. Emphasize the strong points that you see in your prospective employer; let your interviewer know that you want to join an organization whose philosophy and goals gel so perfectly with yours. Tell the person that you would be delighted to put your experience and skills toward realizing the company’s vision. If they don’t bite after that amazing sell, it’s their loss.

“Do you have any other tips for me?” you ask after noticing that Michael and Peyton are reaching for their towels and preparing to leave the hot tub.”

“If we had to sum it up in one sentence,” Peyton answers, “it would probably be this: Get support from positive people, list your talents, rebrand your age, find out what you don’t know, fill in the gaps and toot your own horn.“

“I couldn’t have said it better myself,” Michael agrees as he claps you on the shoulder with one of his huge hands. “Good luck, buddy. We have faith in you.”

Of course, this conversation never took place. In fact, chances are quite good that you will never share a hot tub with these world-famous celebrities. Yet, there is nothing false about their advice. Think about it, take it and use it. Before long, you too may see how you can overcome what you thought was an insurmountable barrier. Remember this: you may be over fifty, but you’re still in the game. All you need to do is take a run at the ball.

Learn to Walk Your Way to Better Health if You Can’t Run

itness is a quantifiable measure of health. It’s a lifestyle, and it’s a state of being that everyone wants to achieve. The problem is that the goal of perfect health and fitness seems to slip away as we age, and keeping our bodies in shape isn’t as easy as it was a few decades ago. Everyone wants to be fit, but we often create limitations or excuses that prevent us from achieving our goals. Walking might not be your favorite exercise, but it is an activity that you can make your own at any age. It’s also a very effective aerobic exercise. Unless you buy a treadmill or a gym membership, it’s practically free. All you need is a good pair of walking shoes.

The Benefits of Walking

You might be reluctant to accept it, but running isn’t the best way or the only way to achieve better health. If you already have arthritis or joint issues, your knees will thank you for walking instead of running. Moderate aerobic activities, such as walking, are ideal for training your body to become fitter and healthier. On the outside, you might drop a few pounds and look fitter and trimmer. On the inside, you’ll be growing lean muscles that are ready to burn fat and work off that Saturday afternoon cheeseburger and fries.

As a newborn power walker, you’ll be improving your cardiovascular health, strengthening your muscles and enhancing your overall health. Moderate exercises that require deep breathing but don’t get you winded are great for increasing your fitness. Walking happens to be a perfect exercise to work the big muscle groups in the lower body. As you walk, you’ll be awakening your sense of balance and reducing your risk of diabetes, stroke, cancer and all kinds of ailments. You’ll also sleep better and be in a better mood.

If you suffer from arthritis or joint problems, here’s another reason to get out there and walk. A Boston University study found that osteoarthritis patients, who have wear and tear joint damage, reduced their mobility limitations by 16 percent for every 1,000 extra steps taken. By avoiding exercise, you’re putting on more weight and weakening the muscles that support your joints. Both conditions increase inflammation and pain.

Workout Frequency

How often should you exercise? How long should you walk? These are two of the most common exercise-related questions. The Surgeon General and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention both recommend that everyone exercise for 30 minutes daily. Another recommendation is to walk 10,000 steps each day. Individuals with osteoarthritis should walk up to 6,000 steps daily.

If you’ve been out of the saddle and in the easy chair, don’t start with 30-minute walks. Fitness guru Covert Bailey says that people who are overweight need to exercise more frequently and for shorter durations. To start, exercise for 10 or 15 minutes two or three times a day until your body is ready for more.

Time vs. Distance

Ever since grade school, we’ve been trained to measure walking or running in miles or laps, but it’s time to change that mindset. Pushing yourself to run a mile on your first day out is a recipe for trouble. There’s no shame in moving the target closer. If you pull a hamstring during your first workout, your buddies will laugh.

To create a sustainable, injury-free workout plan, always walk for distance instead of time. Increasing your pace won’t make a 20-minute workout go any faster. By going for a fixed time, you’ll find the pace that’s best for you. This is the way to prevent injuries and make sure that you continue on your path to fitness.

Tracking Your Progress

As your fitness improves, you’ll find that you can walk longer without any trouble. You can track your progress with a pedometer, mobile phone app or treadmill. Measuring your heart rate during exercise is one way to tell how much your fitness has improved. If you walk outdoors, you’ll find that you can pick up the pace and walk a greater distance while staying in the ideal aerobic zone. Tracking your progress is also an excellent way to set goals.

Workout Variations

When your body is accustomed to working out, your walks won’t be as difficult. Eventually, you’ll need to add something extra to get the same benefits. You can increase the aerobic intensity of your walks by adding hand weights or carrying a weighted backpack. Walking on hills, taking a hike or increasing the incline of your treadmill will also make your walks harder. You could incorporate a flight of stairs into your regular walking course. Finally, you can increase the intensity by adding short 40-second wind sprints. Sprinting doesn’t mean running at full speed until your muscles ache and you can hardly breathe. All you need to do is step up your pace until you feel slightly out of breath. Then, your usual pace will seem more difficult.

If you’re serious about getting fit, make walking your exercise of choice. Get out there, and do it. Excuses aren’t acceptable unless you need a reason to hit the golf course and carry your own clubs. Start slow, and maintain a positive attitude at all times. Remember that some exercise is significantly better than none at all. Use these tips to walk your way to a new level of fitness.

Oral Health Impacts Your Life

The Health of Your Mouth Mirrors Your Overall Health

Your mouth is a mirror that reflects your overall health and well-being, according to Donna E. Shalala in the Surgeon General’s Report on Oral Health. It’s also a key determinant of your nutritional status and your self-esteem. “Oral health means more than sound teeth. Oral health is integral to overall health,” she said.

The report, which was the first that the U.S. Surgeon General has undertaken to assess the nation’s oral health, is intended to “alert Americans to the full meaning of oral health and its importance to general health and well-being.”

But what is oral health?

First of all, the word “oral” refers to the mouth, which includes not only the teeth and gums and their supportive tissues, but also the roof and the floor of the mouth (the hard and soft palate), the tongue, the lining of the mouth and the throat (called the mucosa), the lips, the salivary glands, the upper and lower jaws, and the chewing muscles. Oral health also involves the branches of the nervous system, the immune system and the vascular system (blood vessels) that serve this part of your body.

So consequently, oral health means more than just being free from cavities and gum disease. Oral health, the report states, means overall health in the tissues that “allow us to speak and smile; sigh and kiss; smell, taste, touch, chew and swallow; cry out in pain; and convey a world of feelings and emotions through facial expressions.”

Oral health and overall health—an intricate interrelationship

The health of the oral tissues is indicative of the health of organs and systems throughout your body. Your dentist and other healthcare providers can gather an enormous amount of information about your overall health simply by examining these tissues.

  • A thorough oral exam can uncover nutritional deficiencies, microbial infections, immune disorders and some forms of cancer.
  • Clues to a disease can be discovered by analyzing saliva under a microscope.
  • Facial nerves have counterparts elsewhere in the body.
  • The jaw bones and jaw joint function like other musculoskeletal regions of the body.

Conversely, research is showing us that disease within the mouth—especially periodontal (gum) disease—is connected to ailments throughout the body. Infections in the mouth are a gateway for disease-causing bacteria to enter the bloodstream and provoke a number of diseases, including:

  • Heart disease and stroke
  • Respiratory infection
  • Diabetes
  • Stomach ulcers
  • Low birth weight or premature births

The answer? 
Decay (also called caries or cavities) and periodontal disease are the most common, widespread dental diseases. They’re also the most preventable. Community prevention programs, such as fluoridated drinking water, dental hygiene instruction in schools, nutrition education, and tobacco cessation programs, save billions of dollars per year in public health costs, according to the report. And best of all, they help most people keep their natural teeth for a lifetime.

Squaw Peak Dental

www.squawpeakdental.com

Source – “Oral Health in America: A Report of the Surgeon General”

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