Why Didn’t My Dad Tell Me that Women are Looking for Security before Sex

Why Didn’t My Dad Tell Me that Women are Looking for Security before Sex

ike many people, you may struggle to put yourself in others’ shoes. This isn’t always a big deal, but it can have major repercussions for your love life. Unfortunately, many men are unable to put themselves in women’s minds and end up projecting their own wants and needs onto their wives and girlfriends. Not surprisingly, this often results in one failed relationship after another. In some cases, it can prevent you from finding love in the first place. Even as a middle-aged guy, you may still struggle to understand what women want. So, what is it? The answer may surprise you.

What Men Want

The first thing to do when trying to understand what women want is to think about what men typically want. Chances are that you’re taking those wants, needs and desires and assuming that women think similarly. Here’s a pro tip: They don’t. At the risk of lumping all men into one group, most guys are primarily interested in companionship. Does that mean they place a priority on sex? Sure, that’s often the case, but there’s usually more to it than that. That’s especially true with older men because they’ve usually sown their wild oats years earlier and have settled down quite a bit.

So, men are mostly concerned with finding women who can provide companionship, and that companionship can take many forms. Another thing that many guys look for in female companions is to be cared for, or even mothered. Most men won’t readily admit to this, but they often want women who can help them keep their lives in order. Now, if you were to say this to the average woman, she wouldn’t be too thrilled. Still, it’s often the case, and there’s nothing inherently wrong with that.

What Women Want

What we’ve learned so far is that men mostly want companionship and to be mothered to a certain extent. That tends to become truer the older they get. Don’t women want the same things? Not quite. They want companionship, for sure, but they can just as easily get that from other loved ones and good friends. Sex is on their radars, of course, but it tends to appear fairly low on the list of priorities. While there are certainly women who want guys who will act like fathers to them, most women aren’t looking for father figures.

If women aren’t too worried about companionship and rarely look for fatherly guys, what exactly do they want? It can be summed up with one, simple word: security. Women want to be with guys who can take care of business. Men who have their affairs in order are immensely appealing to most mature women. The word “mature” is an important qualifier here. Younger women are usually less worried about the trappings of success and security because they figure they have plenty of time left. As women get older, though, finding a man who can give them the security they crave becomes more and more important.

Are You Going About Things the Wrong Way?

Like many men, you may feel like you’re competing with other guys who may be better lovers than you. In turn, you may feel the urge to emphasize how great you are in bed and the excitement you can bring to a woman’s life. If you’re doing these kinds of things, chances are that you’re striking out left and right. Women want and enjoy sex, of course, but it’s not like they struggle to find it. Most women can find men to sleep with them without any trouble, and that’s something many guys fail to consider.

If sex is so readily available to most women, it’s not something they are extremely concerned about when looking for serious partners. That’s one of the many reasons that security becomes so crucial. Do you demonstrate your ability to provide security to the women you date? This doesn’t mean you have to go around flashing cash and being flashy. It simply means emphasizing that you have your act together and are stable in the most important ways. For instance, do you own a house and a car? Are you gainfully employed? Do you have disposable income that you can spend on hobbies, travel and other fun things?

Shift Your Mindset to Improve Your Odds of Dating Success

Now that you know how important it is to show women that you can provide security and stability, you may be tempted to run around bragging about your many accomplishments. Don’t do that. Regardless of how successful and secure you are, no one likes braggarts. Boasting about the things you have and the security you can provide will make you seem insecure. The thing to keep in mind is that showing is far better than telling.

How do you show women that you have the security they crave? First, make sure you are presenting the right image. No, you don’t have to look like George Clooney to make this happen. In fact, you don’t have to be conventionally attractive at all. What you need to do is invest in nice, flattering clothes and get a decent haircut. Maintain your personal appearance as impeccably as you can, and splurge on a few really nice pairs of shoes. Keep your home and car neat and tidy, and make a point of showing that you’re a hard, dedicated worker.

Security First, Sex and Fun Second

At this point, you may be feeling pretty let down. After all, dating is still supposed to be fun, right? If you’re supposed to focus on providing security, how are you supposed to have a good time? Like many things, the rewards of playing your cards right from the beginning will come later. As women realize that you are a good provider and reliable person, you will attract more of them. Showing that you’re a stable, secure person is a major aphrodisiac for many women, so you will be able to enjoy plenty of excitement and fun as time goes by. Hang in there for now, and great things are sure to come your way later.