Category: Her Point of View

omen in the prime of life know exactly what they want in men. They have kissed their share of toads and danced with enough handsome princes to understand the rules of the game and the goals that truly matter. They have a keen sense of the man underneath the façade that men put on for the sake of making a good impression.

On Skin-deep Good Looks

Women at any age appreciate men who are easy on the eyes. What constitutes good-looking, however, depends on the eyes of the beholder. Physical attributes such as height, weight and proportion still matter, but the esoteric concepts of charisma and sex appeal become important considerations.

It is important for men to look good on the surface because this is the first filter that the world encounters about you. However, looking good in this sense has more to do with good grooming and consistently taking care of yourself and less to do with extreme measures such as cosmetic surgical interventions. While genes play a part in defining your physical attributes, hard work and diligence are equally important when it comes to the maintenance and enhancement of these parts that nature has so generously endowed.

About Physical Conditioning

The human body is a precisely engineered and highly efficient machine, but it requires scheduled maintenance activities, occasional pampering and regular check-ups for optimum performance and longevity. Women understand this concept really well as evidenced by all time they spend in salons, spas and fitness centers.

The truth is men in the peak of health at any age are attractive on so many levels. When you look good, you also feel good about yourself, and it shows through as self-esteem. Men who take care of themselves exude the confidence of a consistent ace player.

Good health attracts good vibes. Women like to know that men can play the stereotypical role of strong and dependable character when the need arises even if women are quite capable of taking on the world without a bodyguard.

Good Grooming and Healthy Habits

When it comes to developing an appealing persona, the devil is in the little details. Are you conscious of the dirt under your fingernails? Do you diligently trim wayward hair growth in strange places? Are you making an effort to control sporadic or chronic halitosis? Does your dental health belie your lack of dental insurance?

These details may seem too trivial to a man like you with so much to offer the world, but their presence may be indicative of inattentiveness, which is not a good portent for a romantic or platonic relationship. The casually unkempt style that younger men aspire to may send the wrong message to the career women you are after: You are someone trying too hard to be hip and cool, or you are on the brink of homelessness.

On the opposite of the end of the spectrum, a compulsion to look perfectly put together all the time can be off-putting for mature women. Taken too far, grooming habits and personal affectations that indicate narcissism will have women running in the opposite direction because high-maintenance males are often seen as shallow and lacking depth.

Develop a Few Good Lines

Pick up lines are for frat boys. Men who have made it to the top of the mountain should know enough about the world to sustain a good conversation. Develop a healthy interest in current events, or at least, have a passion for a few topics that would help to hold up your end of a dinner discussion.

In the age of the Internet and smartphones, there is very little excuse to remain uninformed about trending topics. It pays to have a working knowledge of topics that interest modern women. It pays even more if you know when to stop talking and start paying attention to the fact that, along with their knowledge of Blahniks and Birkins, women can talk about arbitrage and annuities as cogently as you can.

Financial Order and Disorder

Economic cycles notwithstanding, men of a certain age are expected to have their financial ducks in a row. This means more assets than liabilities, a stable career and a clear understanding of budgets, disposable incomes and retirement planning that does not involve the words Powerball and megaplier.

Some men mistakenly believe that fast cars and fatter wallets are babe magnets. Truth be told, an ostentatious display of one’s ability to spend can horrify rather than impress the kind of woman worth taking home to your mother. Women on an established career path with assets of their own see the mirage of material trappings as a debt trap.

Frugality has its own special appeal, but taking it too far can also be a deal breaker. It is perfectly fine to request a doggie bag for that left over T-bone steak, but stiffing the wait staff on the gratuity marks you as mean spirited and lacking compassion for the less fortunate.

The Intangibles

Attracting the right kind of woman requires tending to the intangibles. Social graces, sense of humor and enough street smarts to navigate life’s little twists and turns without a major meltdown are all crucial to exuding the kind of confidence that attracts self-possessed women. At this stage in the game of life, you control your destiny. Take stock of what you have to offer, and strategize your presentation of this package to your target audience.

magine this scenario: One day, your wife or girlfriend accuses you of having an affair. She sounds angry, pained, and certain. However, you’ve been completely faithful to her. Thus, you now feel hurt and frustrated, and perhaps you’re a little afraid of what’s going to happen next. And what could have caused your partner to lash out at you like this? Well, here’s one shocking possibility: Your significant other is leveling this accusation because she’s the one who’s been cheating.

That situation might sound far-fetched, but it’s somewhat common; both men and women occasionally rely on this ploy. Maybe your wife or girlfriend is only thinking about having an affair right now, or perhaps she’s involved in a physical liaison. Or she might be carrying on an emotional affair. An emotional affair is when two people spend as much time together as they can and even tell each other secrets that they keep from their spouses. But they don’t engage in sexual activity.

Now, if your significant other is cheating on you or planning to cheat on you, there are a few potential reasons why she’d accuse you of doing so. She might think that you won’t suspect her of an affair if she makes this charge against you first. Further, she could assume that you’ll spend so much energy defending yourself that you’ll be blind to the evidence of her infidelity.

Alternately, your partner might hope that you have in fact been unfaithful and that you’ll admit it. That way, her own cheating won’t bother her conscience as much. Indeed, if you were to later catch her with her lover, she could argue that she was merely seeking retribution. Or maybe she imagines that once you own up to an affair, she can suggest an open relationship — one in which you can both pursue romantic entanglements without feeling guilty.

Of course, if your partner wrongly contends that you’re having an affair, it doesn’t necessarily mean that she’s been unfaithful. Perhaps it’s an honest mistake. And if you immediately accuse her of cheating without any evidence, you might look even more suspicious. Therefore, the way that you handle yourself when she makes this charge is crucial.

First, take a deep breath, and remind yourself that you’ll survive this ordeal no matter what happens. Above all, refrain from getting angry even if you feel that you have every right to be furious. Also, don’t come across as overly defensive, and don’t protest too vehemently. In short, summon all of the self-restraint that you can.

Once your partner lets you speak, look her in the eyes and calmly tell her that you’re not cheating on her and never have. Ask her the all-important question next: “Why do you think that I’m having an affair?” If she provides you with a list of evidence, explain away those items in a reassuring and confident manner. For example, maybe she overheard your phone call the previous evening — an innocent conversation that you were having with a female colleague — and she got the wrong impression. Perhaps she saw you having lunch with a strange woman at a downtown cafe, and it turns out that you were conducting an out-of-the-office job interview.

If your girlfriend or wife was genuinely concerned that you were seeing someone else, she’s likely to feel relieved at this point as well as ashamed about the claims that she made. You might want to comfort her, or you might want to express annoyance since she called your integrity into question. Just don’t stay mad for too long. After all, if she didn’t care so much about you, the notion of your cheating on her wouldn’t upset her so much.

However, it’s conceivable that your partner has no rational explanation for saying that you’ve been untrue. In that case, it’s likely that she’ll be surprised by your controlled demeanor and your request for clarification; she was probably expecting you to fly into a rage or an incoherent fit of denials. Moreover, realizing that her attempts at manipulation have failed and that she’s been cornered, she might become more agitated. She could even launch into name-calling and personal attacks. When you’re able to get a word in, you should ask her in an even tone: “Are you accusing me of cheating because that’s what you’re doing?” Watch her reaction carefully. If she turns white or looks rattled, you may have just solved the mystery.

If you find yourself under these latter circumstances, it might be time to end the relationship. You don’t deserve to be with someone who’s capable of such duplicity or a person who’d accuse you of infidelity for no reason. Obviously, it can be scary to leave someone and to reenter the world of dating, but you should remind yourself that you’re worthy of respect and true love.