Wisdom From Jimmy John’s

• Back 9 Team
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• Just for Laughs,Stuff My Dad Never Told Me

1. Never under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in a single word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and will never achieve, its full potential, that word would be”meetings”.
3. There is a very fine line between a “hobby” and “mental illness”.
4. People who want to share their religious view with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
5. Do not confuse your career with your life.
6. Nobody cares if you can not dance well. Just get up and dance.
7. Never lick a knife
8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
9. You will never find anyone who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we continue to observe daylight savings time.
10. You should never say anything to a woman that remotely suggests that you believe she is pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is at age eleven (11).
12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that deep down inside, we ALL believe we are better than average drivers.
13. A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person (this is VERY important, PAY ATTENTION, it never fails).
14. Your friends love you anyway.
15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
16. Final thought of the day: men are like fine wine… they start out as grapes, and it is up to the women to stomp the snot out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

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