What Happened to My Wife After the Wedding?

What Happened to My Wife After the Wedding?

here’s no doubt that your wedding was one of the biggest events of your life. Friends and family gathered to celebrate the amazing love you shared with your then fiancée, and you were excited to begin your life together as a married couple. Of course, you might have faced doubters who told you that the relationship wouldn’t work out long term. Perhaps you got cold feet and worried that you were making the wrong choice. Whatever your worries, you decided to take the leap and begin your journey through life as a married man.

Marriage can bring many joys, but the journey into couplehood is also rife with challenges. During the first year of marriage, which is widely considered the toughest by psychologists and married couples alike, you started to notice that your wife was just a little different than she was when you were dating. Over time, these tiny differences can turn into huge personality conflicts. Like many men, you might be left wondering what the heck happened to my wife after the wedding?

While there’s no one answer to why so many women seem to change after marriage, the key may lie in looking not at your wife herself, but at her parents. We all know that how we’re raised can have a big impact on how we act as adults, so it makes sense to look at a woman’s family to predict how she might act as a wife. Of course, doing so means looking beyond the physical appearance or annoying personal habits of your mother-in-law. It also means looking at how your wife’s parents interact as a couple.

Getting a Grip on Relationship Role Models

As humans, we learn to interact with one another largely by observing our parents and family members interacting with each other when we’re infants. Throughout childhood, we learn the rules that will govern how we act in public and how we treat others in relationships. However, these basic rules don’t just apply to our interactions with friends and acquaintances. They have even deeper implications when it comes to our relationships with romantic partners.

Take a moment to stop and think about marriage as a concept. Where did you learn about the roles of men and women in marriage? From whence do your expectations about how your wife should act come? If you’re like most men, the honest answer is that the majority of your thoughts and feelings about marriage likely come from watching your own parents interact and either build a successful family or pursue separation.

Reality is no different for your wife, who also grew up learning about how relationships work by watching her mom and dad. While there’s no way to go back in time and make new choices about your marriage, understanding why your wife changed can be a big help in moving forward and creating a more satisfying relationship. For those who are considering getting married again, taking the time to get to know your girlfriend’s parents and observing their relationship might just be the key to deciding if you should really propose this time.

Taking an Honest Look at Mom

Growing up as a child, you might not have paid much attention to the little things your mom did that nagged at your dad. After all, kids see Mom as a nurturer and tend to take her side no matter what. However, it pays to step back as an adult and look at the relationship your parents had. As you do so, talk candidly with your wife about her parents’ relationship.

Pay attention to how your mother-in-law treats your father-in-law. Look for obvious signs of discord such as disagreements and fights, but also be attuned to more subtle cues. Does Mom bug Dad about not spending money wisely or not contributing enough to household chores? Is she only concerned with getting her own way, or does she try to accommodate those around her?

Paying attention to these signs can mean the difference between marital bliss and a total blowup. If the relationship between a woman’s parents leaves you with a bad taste in your mouth, it’s likely that you’ll encounter similar struggles once you get married. If you’re stuck with a wife who has just changed too much, take time to think about her parents before you make any life-changing choices.

Can It Still Be Happily Ever After?

For men who find that their wives just aren’t the same after marriage, the idea of happily ever after may seem like nothing more than a childish pipe dream. However, the fact that your wife changed so much after the wedding doesn’t have to spell the end of your relationship. If you can understand why she changed and communicate clearly about your own expectations and shortcomings, you just might be able to overcome your issues and move forward into marital bliss.