I am 50 and Divorced. Now What?

D

ivorce is an extremely trying time for men. If you are experiencing emotional upset, you have to know that this is to be expected. Many men begin to feel depressed after they lose their life partners and daily access to their children. A divorce just happens to be high on the list of reasons that men in your age group decide to commit suicide.

The above-described scenario does not have to be your story. You have many resources to draw upon that can keep you from falling into a mountain of depression, and they are your friends and family, support groups and counselors.

Take Advantage of Friends and Family

Your friends and family are excellent support systems when you are travelling through difficult waters. They can ensure that you are not wallowing in self-pity. You may begin to exercise questionable judgment at this time, but your friends and family are the ones to bring these issues to your attention and lead you in the right direction.

Join a Support Group

Divorcing men have many options when they are seeking a support group. One example is an organization in the Washington D.C. area that helps people move through their divorces in every stage. You can join whether you are just thinking about divorcing, in the process of divorcing or learning how to live after a divorce. This group’s members help each other with legal challenges, co-parenting and the emotional side of divorce to ensure that you do not have to experience anything on your own.

If you would like to meet with your support group in person, you can find this type of operation in your local area. In this new technological age, you can join an online group that can be just as supportive as a local group can be. Some groups even offer you the option of meeting via teleconference.

Enter Counseling

A support group may not be to your liking. In that case, divorce therapy may be a better choice for you. Divorce therapy is conducted on an individual basis and is directly related to the specific problems of divorce. In this type of counseling, you will be able to discuss how the divorce is making you feel, and your therapist will be someone who will guide you through in the way that is right for you.

Divorce therapy is also instrumental in helping you start your new life. You will learn what contributed to your divorce, so this therapy will help you correct mistakes you made in the past and aid in personal growth. Therefore, you will be a healthier person because of divorce therapy. So, when you are ready to date again, you will be prepared for it.

Begin to Date Again

Dating can be a real challenge if the divorce wasn’t your idea. You may have thought that you would be married forever, so you are completely unprepared for the prospect of dating at the age of 50. In addition, the thought of spending your evenings in a bar like you did when you were in your 20s may be extremely distasteful to you. Don’t worry. This is no longer a requirement.

Women in their 50s are thinking the same thing you are. They prefer not to spend their evenings in bars, but they do want to meet men. Consequently, you can meet women your age in many other places, including the following:

• Book clubs
• Dance classes
• Art classes
• Cooking classes
• Hiking groups
• The golf course

If you are a little scared to enter the dating scene again, you can relax because you will find that dating is much easier now. You have a lot to brag about these days that you didn’t have when you were younger. You are established in a great career, and this has given you confidence you didn’t have in the past. You can read women much better than you used to, so you will know when someone is truly interested in you. You will be surprised how easy it is to approach these women and strike up a conversation.

Date Online

You may still be a little wary of dating, so you might wish to take things at a slower pace before you meet someone in person. The Internet makes this possible with several online dating websites. Research shows that 40 percent of online daters are over age 50, so you have plenty of company.

How to Date

You know how devastating divorce can be, so you do not want to experience a second one. The reality is that the divorce rate for people in their 50s is twice that of younger age groups. For this reason, you will need to proceed with caution.

Dating in your 50s is different from dating in your 20s. You and your prospective partners have significant histories to sort through, and you can expect this to take longer than it does for younger people. Be prepared to spend this extra time so that neither one of you is unpleasantly surprised by anything in the future.

Remember that you have plenty of time and that there are a lot of women who will be interested in you. Don’t be afraid to be friends with them. As was described above, it benefits you to get to know these women very well before you enter into a romantic relationship. If it turns out that you are incompatible in a romantic sense, you can keep these women as friends.

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