How to Keep the Romance Alive Even with a Pre-Nup

How to Keep the Romance Alive Even with a Pre-Nup

sually, entering into marriage is a romantic time. Love fills the heart, and good thoughts abound. No one worries about splitting finances or fighting over assets. However, some couples are older, wiser, and decide to draw up prenuptial agreements. In years past, these types of arrangements were only for the rich and famous. Today, they may be helpful for anyone with significant assets or the possibility to own items that may bring a great deal of wealth. Although there may be negative feelings associated with pre-nups, there are some ways to keep the romance alive while planning the documents.

Discuss General Financial Matters

Even though there may be negative stigma associated with these type of documents, it is a fact that couples who have prenuptial agreements are more likely to have long-lasting and happy marriages. The best way to begin a discussion of a pre-nup is with a general conversation about financial matters. Well before the topic of marriage erupts, it is wise to sit down as a couple and discuss intentions concerning long range financial plans. When one or both parties has a significant amount of assets, it is a smart time to bring up the idea of a pre-nup. If talk is done early, it will be less threatening and shocking when the time comes for a marriage proposal. It will be possible to enjoy the important moments and maintain happy memories instead of dwelling on financial issues.

Serious Talks Before an Engagement

When a couple is getting serious and an engagement is likely, it is time to seriously discuss finances. Talking about a pre-nup before an engagement will not interfere with the excitement or romance of the proposal. Taking a gradual approach to financial planning will be a way to make sure that no one will be caught by surprise with the feeling that loves comes second to money. After all, a prenuptial agreement means more than just who gets what in the case of divorce. It is also a great way to plan how each person will contribute to the financial aspects of a marriage. It can be as simple as discussing who pays the mortgage and who buys the groceries each week. Getting the terms of a pre-nup ironed out before an engagement will allow the couple to separate emotions from finances. This will make the proposal all the more enjoyable.

Use a Third Party Mediator

In order to take the sting out of a pre-nup, it is smart to obtain a neutral third-party negotiator. This will keep both people happy and on even terms. No one will feel that things are being planned unfairly. An independent lawyer who has no connection to the couple will make a good negotiator. Someone with knowledge about family law will make a wise choice. When a neutral party is suggesting ways to set up the agreement, it will help to keep emotions stable and prevent the romance from becoming disturbed. There will be no reason to have hurt feelings or a sense of unfairness.

Present the Idea Correctly

When one person in a relationship feels that a pre-nup is necessary, it is important to broach the subject in a delicate manner. It is never wise to begin the request with “I want.” This sends the message that the person is only trying to protect personal needs and that trust does not exist. A better way to present the idea is by explaining that the agreement will protect both people, especially in case of sudden death. In many cases, a prenuptial agreement is an insurance policy that is mutually beneficial. A pre-nup does not automatically mean that a couple is planning for the worst. Looking at it in these terms will restore a certain feeling of love.

Remain Practical Yet Romantic

Divorce is common yet heartbreaking. As most people approach a mature age, it is not rare to enter into marriage more than once. When people are young, it is uncommon to enter into a relationship with money or financial security. However, the second or third times around, things may be different. A person should use common sense when considering a pre-nup. If there are few worthwhile assets, a pre-nup is not necessary. However, it is important to look ahead and assess whether or not a person has the potential to gain wealth from assets during the marriage. When this is the case, it may be wise to consider a prenuptial agreement.

Contrary to popular belief, conversations that lead up to a pre-nup can be a great way to begin a marriage. It should be the first of many discussions concerning financial goals. It is the basis for a couple’s dreams and ways to reach them. Even though money discussion are less than romantic, they can be a wonderful way to keep love alive.